Sunday, June 22, 2014


These walls need color. These walls need a splash of soul to drown the silence on them.
Perhaps there is something missing. It feels almost empty, as there is nothing to give them life.
It has never bothered me before. But now as I sit here, it has come to me. As almost a new spark of energy. I know what Can chance this scene. But how to get it here?
There are a few whose inner beauty can bring something more. There are a few who can make this room bring me a since of purpose. Their works can bring a new light to this dull, barren view.

Behind their masks they hold a cure. I can feel it in their veins. It almost fuels me. It moves me.
Each breath makes them stronger, and by touch alone I am envious of this. Together we can create a resting place. Together, our minds as one, the energy can be brought out. We can share our passions. One might say a collaboration of artists, making something old into something new.

An idea! It all starts with an idea. This idea can grow and dig its way into the subconscious. It burrows itself into the inner workings of the brain. And fed properly, it can grow. But how to get this beauty out? The options are few, but there is one way to make it free. The sight it can bring. The wisdom it can hold. Not to mention the life force affecting all those who come into contact with it. The sight alone can bring one to tears. It could make one reflect on life. To remember what life is all about. It can bring forth a mans desires. It can unlock the hidden animal. It may, oh it just may, empower the weaker class.

Of course by weaker class I refer only to those who are too afraid to see the potentials, the responsibilities, the abilities they harbor within themselves. The opportunity to change one moment and make a mark, their mark, on history alone. One small act can release it. Release the years of hiding. Break the chains of what they are meant to become for each are meant to fulfill a purpose.

But yet, they hide. We hide. I hide. But here, within these bare walls I will hide No more. What do I fear? Victims of ourselves? Or geniuses in the making. The inner workings of a mind can never be deciphered. I am but what I am. And sitting here, it has come to me. It makes, what some would diagnose, an insanity claim. But I see it more as a logical shot. A perfect kill to the source. Clean. Cut. Well planned and executed.

I am fed by the notion of new and exciting times. I contemplate, I rationally whip up the ingredients to a new day of age. There is no fear. There is no need to hide behind society and what they feel is practical. It makes sense!! Can you not see  what it means to set the mind free?

Brainwashed by the times. Calmed to how you are supposed to act. And supposed to react. But what is that all for? The purpose? To be like everyone else? I say I am doing the world a favor. To show we are not all the same. We are not what we appear to be. But the clues we leave behind, who reads them? Can what you really feel and see and think and brew inside really be understood except by you alone? It is not what makes a man a man. Flesh.bone. Nerves. Blood in us all.

Oh the pleasure to see it now. There, on these walls to start. Etched in the grains of this day. The beauty of what is inside. I can see it.  The sight it brings. The magnetism that flows and bubbles though the core. It is beautiful. Simple and natural. We have it in us all. I can bring it out of you. What flows beneath your outer layer. It is time to let it out. To let it breathe. And where better to start  Than now. Right here. With my hand. With my presence ever absorbing and filtering its path. You help me. You make life better. But do not worry, I cannot take credit alone for this work of art, as I want to call it. You will be remembered as well as I. We just have to be patient until someone will find us. Piece by piece, with all our tasks, and moment by moment we will wait to be recognized for the mark we will make on history.

So...for now...let me...nigh, let us lie here and breathe the victory of our accomplishment in these rooms now painted with our life's work. There is no better scene than this alone. What everyone wants to see, but is too afraid to let it be shown. I thank you for your Being. Your energy. You have helped me break out. And now, everyone can see. True beauty.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014


You thought maybe the tides had turned
The feelings that drive you crazy
They swarm my brain with endless friction
The constant cravings to my pathetic addictions
Yet underneath the violet covered sky
And hidden from the eyes of heavens light
I lie face down in my pillows doing my best to hide my cries
From the monsters waiting in the night.
Outside my door they breathe like death
I am not safe
These demons patient to break on in
And let my inner destruction begin.
One by one they filter through the cracks
They break the barcades
One by one they take a bite
And suck out my meaning of life

Trapped in a place where I can't escape
My mind my alpha fear
The practical imagery it sets in line
It will beat me every time.
Who in their right mind would understand
Or take the moment of surprise
To yield their swords and defense
And save a soul lost in her own grievance
Fading slowly but falling faster than before.
So stupid. So useless and insecure
It begins just like it does each round.
MUsic in the background. Darkness in the room.
A dampened heart and an upset mind.
Here it goes one more time.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014


save it for the queen and the court 
this is not the last resort
the day is just beginning and the night will only come
when you finish the journey you are on and return to where you came from.

home is where the heart is. and where the walls are tall, the foundations solid. the people are happy and love surrounds. home is the desert heat. home is the cities huge.
home is the back seat of a traveling bus. home is the mountains sweet. 

play the game and roll the dice. run around like cat and mice. pinch the skin and pull the taffy. one more day will make this dream and life more happy.

Monday, June 16, 2014


I take a look at the things that have occurred through out my time here, events and deals that have taken a toll on my life, my character, and my soul. To adapt to ones surroundings is what we do, what we were born to do. there is nothing wrong with adapting, trying to fit in to our natural habitat. BUt what if I was not born to fit in with the crowd, to be like everyone else. There is always one who was born to be different, we all were in fact. But it takes one to stand above the rest to set the path for change. It is through one persons act of confidence that leads a trend, that sets the path, that creates the movement and pursues the dream. It is a hard concept to grasp, harder to comprehend. For it is hard to put forth your foot, to take that first step into a place as cloudy, dark and musty as a street with no light. Complete darkness. But you know there is no other way to reach your safety zone without walking down this street. You know the way, but you cannot see the obstacles, the uncertainty that hides in the shadows, that is waiting for you to trip over, to grab you, to keep you from your relief and security. Of course, you will try to find another way home but you know there is only one real way. You can stall yourself as long as you want, but the wait is not getting any easier. I can feel the need to make it home. I know I am not meant to be like everyone else. I know I am a leader. To be a leader is sometimes meant to stand alone. But just because you stand alone does not mean you are lonely. For you are never alone. The leap, or in this case step of faith, of hope, of clarity, is the hardest part. But the first attempt will not be shot down. Make the commitment and the resistance will be lessened and your yearning for closure and relief will set in. Make for yourself the safe haven and feel at ease. Be at peace. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014


You have convinced yourself the hardest thing,
To defy the strongest feeling.
To turn your back on the nicest seed,
And destroy love given, which you need.

To paint the lover with a tarnished brush,
Take his personality, and crush,
Bend, distort so all good is hidden
So evil comes forth, false and unbidden.

That evil in small amounts is common
In all people, no matter where from.
If you look for it, you will find in all
The ability to hurt, maim and maul.

But suppress the evil and look for good.
In an ideal world, all people should,
And you will see the love, the care, the best
Evil turns to dust when facing the rest

So I beg you to look again at me
with no prejudice, let your mind be free,
For within me you will see and find
Someone who is loving, caring and kind

Tuesday, June 10, 2014


Why is it when know something will hurt us, we embrace it with open arms into our lives instead of running as fast as we can without looking back?

Perhaps it is easier to accept the heart ache than to run. 
Perhaps it is punishment to ourselves

We do it so we can feel hurt and pain and negativity because that is where we feel loved and accepted. We create that environment for ourselves, by the way we hope and want to be loved. 
This shows we as people really care about ourselves, we do love ourself only in a way we subconsciously hide from our self.
The love we have for ourself is too focused on the negative aspects of our lives, emotions, situations, and wrong doings that when we do something right, feel something right or want to do right it means nothing. 

Love is a seperate being, fed entirely on different aspects of our lives. It feels greater, it knows everything and blinds easily. It has no limits even though it is hard to see around it. It cares. It takes the beating. It dries the tears. It bleeds the life from our wounds yet takes the beating from the bad.

The pain, the hurt, the misery, the heart ache we create for ourselves is loved by no other than ourself. We love ourselves so much we create love and formulate it into people in our lives and imagine them caring for us, if they knew the pain we were and are feeling. We both hate on our selves and love our selves at the same time. We create the situation in every possible way. A whole world inside our own mind. Feeling every emotion, the closest way to have a pure and enlightened out of body experience. 

For without Love there can be no life. Love is Life as Life is Love. All through-out life we are taught, we teach ourselves, we experience, we grow, we explore, we learn how to love. 

Love is the essence of our being. The path of our Lives. We are searching for love. We are finding Love. We are blinded by Love. We are tricked by Love. We are Resurrected: We are Forgiven: We are Punished: and We are Saved by Love.

But see how scary it is to love, be afraid of love. It takes you places you have never traveled, feel things you thought were a story. And when you feel it is the only way, it tricks you into believing it was love where really it was a mirage, a circle path. It took you now where, and it lead you false. A friend you thought you had, but an enemy more the less. But out of the ashes, your love finds you and lifts you from the piles. It builds you up, restores your glow. Your path is clear in view and your shine as pure as snow.

Your only handle to the reality you live. Your love backs you up as you struggle to regain your stand. But to always know that even when love tears you up and strikes you down, it will always catch you before you hit the ground. This Love you grow to know and find will fight the fight, whether good or bad. But will never let you face this world alone. 

Your Prosecutor. Your Judge and Jury. Your Defender. Love Always.

Friday, May 9, 2014

The Game::

Time tells a story
a story that’s bigger than us here
A beginning it holds
An end is in sight
You hold your cards close to your chest
The hand you have been dealt
The way you play each one
A trick of life or death
 You mask your fear
You hide your bluff
Your eyes are calm
Your hands are steady
The heart beats constant
To win is the goal
Each contestant at this table
Has a tick to tock
Their beats are noble
As noble as yours
But will they take you
The surprise you dread
The play that determines it all
The dealer watches silently
He cannot intervene
He watches each play 
Behind his power of the cards
Each card he deals
Becomes your fate
Or becomes your break
No matter the risk
You come back for more
The adrenaline draws you
The mystery grasps you
Each opponent your envy
And your stepping stone
You give your worth
You bet it all
You play it cool
You feel the cards at risk
What have you to lose?
What have you to win?
No one knows 
No one can tell
These cards you hold
You master their weight
Each curve you feel
They are your moment
For the Gamble is lifes toll
And the game is what you make it to be.
To walk away unscarred
To breathe a moment won
Or a minute lost
Each outcome a mistake
The play of Kings.
The game of nations.
A game no less.
Time is what you have
Every minute that passes by
Your next move is at hand
How will you play?