i went to get another entree out of the warmer to serve. i had to serve all the customers before i cleaned the mess. as it turns out, the chef, joe, was extremely upset! he was not happy with me at all. i mean, come on, it is a food place; food is going to spill dude. but i guess he was more mad at the fact that i just so happened to spill it right in front of the "main bosses".
hooray for me and my timing! i even served them and i had no idea who they were. i even spoke to her and i had no idea! i said that everyone has the chance to make a mistake. i guess i just had mine. she laughed. however, all four of them could have been putting on a front. what even made joe more upset was the fact that one of bosses was angry that our screen was not working. so what did they notice? broken screens and employees spilling food. great! i was so dirty. i cleaned up everything, except for my jeans!!! i still had to go to school and i had sauce all over my jeans. fabulous. i have tried to get most of the sauce off, but it is being difficult. i was in choir and i pulled sauce out of my hair! gross.
i can only laugh at the fact now. at least now i can say that i am officially in the food business. i had my " initiation" today. nobody truly works anywhere until they make a boo-boo! today was my day. i feel so...humiliated. that just ruined my good employee streak. wait until my shift boss hears about it. i hope i do not get chewed out too badly.
it was just a wonderful event, the cherry, to top off my beautiful day! i woke up this morning...with a stuffed nose and a pounding head. not to mention i still feel that way. my side was and is throbbing and so many other things! i went to pick up something and i tore my shoulder....again!!! my arm, will it never cease to cause me pain? :D today is definitely a day i wished had not happened. everything is a blur. okay. i have to say this. i know my blogs lately have not been real, upsy daisy, but i started the blog to write down about my day and how i am feeling. and this is how i have been feeling!
so, today, definitely a day i want to forget. i woke up this morning in tears. and the more this day continues, the worse i feel. i can feel my drive, my life draining and leaving. i can. i have lost the drive to do anything. go to school, blah. eat...not hungry. say prayers...why? read the book....what for? study, breath, try.. what is the point? what is the point of any of it? can i just quit now? no. i am not a quitter. that is too easy and the easy way out is never the right one to take. but i am just so done with....this, with me. i am shrinking and i can seriously feel the darkness growing all around me, encircling me with no way to see whats what. i feel cold. .and no that is not because i am not wearing a sweater.i feel as though a cold wind is always blowing, but it makes my whole body and mind shiver. as if it is the cold kiss of death beckoning me to come and play. it all is just happening so fast. i cannot seem to focus.this weekend really has put me out of wack..well...it certainly sped it up.
i honestly have been trying. i have been trying so hard. but i swear it seems the harder i try, the faster i go backwards instead of forwards. with every inch i go forwards i fall backwards 4 inches. do i focus too much on what used to be than what is in store? can i just stop trying...for my sake? maybe staying stable is better than moving forward or backwards. perhaps i should just stop caring as much as i do about the whole ordeal? it really cannot be that big of a deal !?!?!?!?light bulb! idea! breakthrough!!! i am doing this. i wonder where this is going to end up? interesting.somewhere other than here that is for sure. i hope i can maintain it :D smiles and smiles everyone! a new adventure is starting because: adventure is out there! the end.
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