Junction::

everyone reaches that point in their life when they are at a crossroads. a junction. a no where to go but left or right.
i mean technically you can go backwards, but then where will that get you except back to where you started from..unless there was a road somewhere back you passed along your journey and you think just about now that road is the road you should have taken all along.
but that is beside the point, a junction is in your path and you are unsure of the way to go.
even when you passed that other road a ways back, you probably contemplated on which way would be the best way.
perhaps this happens more than once in a lifetime. for me, it happens frequently, but at this particular moment in my life, i am indeed at a dilemma. i am stuck.
i can sit here scratching my head for hours, pros and cons of choosing either way.
but eventually, i am going to have to make a decision. i am, however, afraid of making the wrong one.
who knows what each road has to offer, what obstacles, what paths, and what people are along the way.
that is a risk we all take.

there are a lot of people who say that prayer is the best answer to such dilemmas.
God answers prayers. this i know to be true.
however, Gods' answers are not always how we would like them to be, and they do not happen in our frame of time, but His own.
But God is not going to choose which road " I " will go down.
God can only make you feel good about your decision, or bad about it.
i do not mean feel bad as in " by the power vested in me, and the thunder and rain in the sky, you are going to regret your decision". i believe it is a more of an uneasy feeling. " maybe you should not have chosen this. it may not have been the best decision in your life. maybe you should try and find a way to make this right."
He helps you to feel good about things. to make things right.
BUT only i can make the decision. and there are those decisions in life where it does not really matter which way i choose, because in reality, they both are a good path and i have to choose what i feel is better for me.
God won't make me feel good or bad about my decision. but He will support me, and help me on my journey.
this is my hardship at the moment. i am at that point. it does not matter what i choose, i just NEED to choose something.
It is like going cliff jumping for your first time.
It takes courage to climb the cliff and pump your self up for the jump.
Then when you finally reach the point where you must jump, you start second guessing yourself.
You are scared to make the leap, scared of all the "what ifs".
After you stand there for so long, you realize you CAN do it, and after a few more quick breathes you take the leap!!!
As you fall you are embracing yourself for the impact, and right when you hit the water, you knew that is was worth it.the free fall, the adrenaline, the excitement.
Needless to say you had so much fun you probably are going to do it again!

Life takes courage. And many moments to pump us up.it is natural to contemplate, but eventually, you have to move forward.
You cannot sit at the top of the cliff, cold and unsure and too afraid to make a difference.
Sometimes the leap is the hardest part, but once it is made, the fun is only starting to begin :)