f&#% this. forget everything that i typed earlier. i am done. i am DONE i am telling you. there is nothing more disturbing than knowing that you completely are living proof of disaster. no one to turn to..no one to talk to...no one who understands you. i am a walking time bomb i am going to admit it. after tonight, i cannot handle it. i cannot look at myself in a respectful manner. i have come to the conclusion that i am lost and i shall forever remain that way. i am not as strong as i should be....i am very weak. i am a weak person and i cannot handle it. i cannot handle the pressure. i cannot handle the diversity.i cannot handle ME! i used to be comfortable with me....but i can see how ME is a big no no and everything about me is a disaster. i need to get away from everyone....from everything. i try to hard to fit in instead of just being me.
i try to be someone i am not. i do not see what is the problem. why me? why can i not just be happy for once in my god damn life? what is the fucking problem!?!?!? i am tired of fake. i want the REAL.
one thing is real. and i am not proud of it.....but the sharp edge brings back the sense that pain is real and i can feel....i can still feel pain......
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