Work progress

is it strange? It is for me. Choir tour was absolutely outstanding!!!!! I had so much fun it is incredible. I know before tour I did not even want to go. I was nit excited to spend time witha bunch of choir kids!! But they all are nit just choir kids. These are musicians who actually want to e in choir!!! It was so much fun. I cannot say how happy I am that I went on tour! It was an amazing experience and making the level of music with all those in choir was wow. I got to know each person in that choir more than i would have in class. They are really a good group of people andso much fun to be around. I am so glad I am in symphonic this year!!!!!! It has been the best year of choir I think I have ever had in te history of choir!!!!! This year just in general has been a great one. I am not sure why but it has been!!! I have been so happy and BUSY! Fall semesters ar the worst semesters for me. They are long and they just drag on and on and in. And I am always so exhausted and depressed it seems. But not this semester. I have been so happy and the semester has gone by so fast!! It will November before I know it!!!! And kamas will be getting married! Krazy eerybody krazy! I need to still find someone to go to the wedding with me. I still have a month but still. I also need to loseore weight. I am craving a hard core work out and sweat fest. Bring it in baby!!!

MET DAY!

Today was a FANTASTIC DAY!!! Oh my goodness I cannot remember a day when I was just completely happy?!! It has been so long!!!!!! TOday was so amazing I am so happy.!

So this week has been so crazy. 5 midterms, 2 papers due, work, and getting ready for the MET auditions. Things have been so stressful. But I got through it! I only failed 1 midterm....52%. Not that bad...:/
But today was the MET auditions. I was so discouraged last week because I did absolutely awful in Master class and my recording session. I wanted to not do these auditions and I had my heart set on stopping. But I had this feeling that I should just do it. SOooooo I did it! And it was amazing let me tell you! Yesterday, I sang in my master class. I wore the dress I was thinking about wearing for the audition and my professor...the first thing she said when I stood up to sing was " i am not a fan of the orange ddress. You aint wearin' those shoes are ya?" WHAT! she absolutely loved my dress last year for a competition. She said it looked so good on stage. But of course I did not wear it today. Haha I had a blue dress I wore instead. It was more flowing anyways :)
I was going to start my audition with AH! Je Veux Vivre from Romeo et Juliette by Gounod, but my professor thought that was a bad idea. SO instead I started with Prendi per me sei libero from L'Elisir d'amore by Donizetti.

It was smashing!! I felt so good after I got off stage. I have no regrets!! I did not win, I knew that I wouldn't I am not that impressive compared to everyone else. HELLO?!?!?! I was competing against people 20-30. There was no way. haha. But it was still so much fun! I came home Friday night with my friend Diana Olivares. She is my studio class. We stayed at my place and just relaxed last night and this morning. It was super chill and really good to be home. THis is us in the car on our way to the audition!!!

Do we not look so hot?!?! It was so great to travel with her. We had a good time. She is super nice.

I have no regrets about my performance. I felt strong about everything and I was so happy and I had a great time. I was not sure which aria I wanted to start with. It would either be the Prendi, or Steal Me Sweet Thief from the OLd Maid and the Theif by Menotti. I have more experience with Steal Me. I have performed it in the Quest for the Best competition. It sits really good in my voice too. I can really act it out pretty well. But this morning I decided to do Prendi. I just felt like I should sing that one. ANd I did. It really showed off my voice I think. I know there are still a lot of things that could be better, but where I am right now in my performing and studies, I thought I did really good. I have IMPROVED by a butt load this semester. That is only 2 months! I have improved more in these past 2 months than I have ever over the past 2 years at the UA.

I got to meet with one of the judges after the performance and it was incredible. He said I was so young for the repetoire that I am singing. He said it was impressive. He also said that I had a beautiful voice. So young! haha. He asked me if I was into musical theatre and I said yes! I actually wanted to do musical theatre before Opera. He told me he does musical theatre over the summer and there are numerous roles he would cast me in RIGHT NOW! Incredible. When i first walked into the room, he said he remembered me. I was his MAYBE choice for a winner! Can you believe it?!?! A maybe!!!! Icould have won!! hahaha. at least in his opinion I do not know about the other judges haha. He said I just did not have that one thing that made me super unique, that would put me over the top of all the other singers. I am young and I can figure that out. But he did love my voice and told me to keep up the good work. Also, he knows that I am focusing on technique, but once I learn that completely, i should focus on communicating because he said I am a great communicator, which is why he thinks I would do great in music theater. To be a great performer, there are 3 things i must be able to do; sing, move, and communicate. :) How awesome. Movement, vocals and communication. He said i should master all these elements and I will be set! He said the one thing I want you to take from this interview is Communication. And that is what I did! I know that I can communicate so much better, i just get so worried about the technique. But I am still young, he kept saying that. hahaha. I am 22!!!! :) I have so much time to get so much better and I cannot wait to get there! I am on my way!!

The next competition, WATCH OUT!! I am going to blow the fish out of the water! It was been nothing but a marvelous day. I got to sing, perform, meet a PROFESSIONAL MET singer, spend time with the family, it has just been marvelous. Now I am going to see MONEYBALL with the mother. What a great way to end the day. I know this...I am going to sleep great tonight :)

what a week!

WOW!!! This week has been so crazy! Not just this week but last week as well! I have nothing but school and work and school and work! I have tests one right after the other. In fact, this week I have to write 2 papers, memorize 50 or so different terms, and study for two midterms! And on top of that I have the MET Opera Auditions on Saturday!!!!! Oh my goodness it is all happening so fast! I am so going to relax when this week is over since I have technically not had a break since conference weekend...sort of. A PARTAY is definitely in order. I guess you can say I already had one really on Friday.....sort of. I went out with some people and it was fun. Not necessarily my regular group of people?! What am I saying? I do not have a group! hahaha. how crazy I am trying to diversify myself. Share myself with others :)

But man oh man, I am suffering from BEK this week. Nobody ever will understand or know the meaning behind BEK. It is plain and simple and if people knew me as a person, they would understand the abbreviation. But no one really pays that much attention to my life haha and how can they? I do not blame them. This is something I struggle with. And BEK is not helping! I cannot get it off of my mind. I wish that things would just happen. Either that or I just need to stop thinking about it. But how can I? It is probably the hardest thing to do, especially since it is a daily, hourly, second by second though process. It is always on my mind. the mind really is one of the hardest things to control. This I believe more and more everyday. Learning to control the mind, and thoughts is painful and quite the struggle. You all think quitting smoking is hard? Well, that is a mind game people. EVERYTHING is done with the mind. It is the center of our whole being. We cannot be without it.

Anywho, maybe something WILL happen, for the better and good of the situation. But knowing the true reality of BEK, it never will. Never B, never E, never K....never ever! Another reason I need to completely shake it from my mind. I need to focus on more important things, better things, productive things at that. I just hope...more like I plead that something will become of this syndrome. yes, my BEK is a problem I have properly diagnosed and there is no prescription or antidote to cure it. HaHaHa. except time....and patience?! All good things come in time to those who wait.

Can I just say how amazing conference was? holy WOW! I completely needed that in my life. it felt so good to hear the words of the prophets on the earth. Their counsel was amazing. I have come to find the older I get, the more I crave and need conference in my life. It is a craving that needs filled too! it is no longer a torture to sit through! I enjoi it breathlessly. I loved President uchtdorf's talk in Womens Conference...Forget Not. I have never heard something more sincere, heartfelt, and pure. I have already given that talk to a friend of mine who is not of my faith and she loved it. I gave her a copy and I hope it changed her perspective on her hard times. Slowly she is accepting me for my religion. The only really around who gets it....and that in itself is a funny story. She is a great gal and has so much potential in this world. I wish she saw how great she is and how wonderful she is. Seriously, it is disappointing in a ways and yet, hard to watch. She has no pride in who she is. I know pride can be bad, but she does not even care. She does not even try. She needs a friend and I am there for her, but it can only be for an xtent. My friendship cannot go farther, and I have a feeling she is feeling it should. NOOOOOO!!!!! :) She knows my thoughts though so that is good. Friends we are and only friends we shall stay. I pray for her and I am always inviting the spirit to enter her life, giving her talks and advice I get in church and from the prophets. In fact, I have been trying to study more and understand more so I can better serve her. Sure my habits and struggles are still struggles, but I know I have a testimony of this gospel and I know for a surety....having thought long and hard about the gospel and its affects in my life...that I would die for this gospel. There is no doubt in my mind that I would not stand up for it at any moment. I would never deny the presence of Christ in my life and in this world. I would never deny the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon, never deny there is a God for I have witnessed his hand in my life. I know I do not follow his words..i have my doubts but I know HE is there and watches over me. HE loves me and will never abandon me no matter what I do. I know this for a surety. I am a good person who just makes stupid decisions. This does not make me a bad person. I am so thankful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the comfort and warmth I feel from it. I would die any day for this gospel.

It is weird to think whenever people find out i am LDS, they freak out. They cannot believe that I am. I have to admit I understand why. I am not exactly the best example. But see my point of view. People have this view of Mormons being snotty, stubborn, better than everybody, holier than everyone, perfect people. We are not and never will be. We are normal people who try to live our lives the best that we can. When people find I am LDS, they do not see how I can seeing as though I go out, I go to parties, I drink, I smoke every now and then, and other things.....I tell them I am a Mormon. I love my faith and I would never deny it. Some find it hard to believe since I live a life of sin. You know, this gets to me. I am not representing my faith or my church. Nor am I representing the life of Christ and his light in the world. Or am I? I do not believe I am necessarily putting shame to this gospel. I may not be a great representation, but I am not a bad one either. I know I need to change my life and change my ways. but for other reasons that I still am working out with myself. I do not go looking for ways to talk to people about the gospel. THey bring it up themselves. I am able to talk about the church and my religion and my views and aspects and my experiences. I am not a perfect person. I believe I am showing people that not everyone is perfect. LDS people are not perfect! We all have our problems and our struggles in life. I also tell them there are those in every religion though....some who do not "follow the rules". Now, i am not saying I am proud of the way these things unfold, but at the same time, some people walk away having a greater respect and understanding of MORMONISM for to say. I think I am getting a head of myself, and this is probably really confusing to understand, but I understand my point. I am a mormon. I am proud to say it and I always will be. You will never see my hesitate when asked what my religion is. And I am proud of that. If you want to judge me, you can, but i know that it will never matter because only God can judge me. I know I have things to change, and things to work out, and I am not in any way trying to say that by being a "rebel" is a good way to talk about the church. Not at all. I am not saying that I am glad I do what I do either. I am saying I am Human. And if I am able to relate to people through my experiences and it is able to give them an understanding of the church and they accept it and learn about it, I am not necessarily going to deny that privilage. I am thankful for my trials, I am thankful for my imperfections because they make me a stronger person and they have made me who I am today. I am grateful and thankful for it all. No regrets. If I could go back in time and change anything, I would not. I would not be the person I am without these trials. What I need to do is learn from them, take the bad with the good and know what I can do better. Every experience has a lesson to be learned. It is up to US to figure it out and take it with us into our everyday lives and even share it with those around us. That is something I am so thankful to do. I would not be able to talk to a lot of people about the church if I was not able to relate to them in their current lives. Through my imperfections and experiences I am able to relate and draw people to the light for the see me as someone they can trust, someone who knows the hardships and the difficulties they face. But I can also be a lighthouse for them to come to the light, that there is something better out there and they can be apart of it. I know this is what I can be, and I know I can help them find their way back to something greater :)

the new day!

hey hey hey y'all.!

i cut my hair yes i did! i have been wanting to do it for quite sometime now and i have finally gone through with it.
it is really a new look for me and i am not quite used to it yet....but it is wearing on me. i mean i lOVE it i do. it just is still different. i am so glad i did it though. i feel freer...a whole new person!


i have been to all my classes now! let me start with what i have!
m,w,f ::10am-music history, 11-break except fridays i have voice studio, 12-20th century theory, 1-break/voice lesson on wednesdays, 2-choir.
tues/thurs::: 930-living in symbiosis, 11-conducting, 12-break, 1-break, 2-choir,
i do not know what day i have opera scenes.
every morning i gets up and go work out. during my breaks is when i am going to try and practice my music because 4-830pm i am going to be working at the 3 cheeses and a noodle again! i am excited about that i am not going to lie :)

i have 3 roommates: lorenna is from orange county, ca. flavia is from switzerland. augustina is from china. they are nice. i just talked to them today actually haha.
flavia goes back to switzerland in december. she is just an exchange student. pretty cool.

i am excited for a new year! i am trying to get in my system to be a whole new me! not to care what people think because they cannot determine how i react or how to behave. i have come up with a theory. i care TOO DAMN MUCH! i am the one who creates the drama in my own life. if i were to just take life and not freak out, things would fall better into place. i would not be worried about this person or that person and all that jazz. i need to take life day by day. i get myself into my own problems. i am glad i have finally realized this. i am starting to get smart!!!! :)
i now know my problem and i am now going to change! there is nothing wrong with change....change is good and healthy. bring it on. as the sidewalk says........

leaving!

Oh my goodness!!!

I am leaving for Tucson in less than 2 hours!!! I cannot believe it! my summer is pretty much over. School starts on Monday.
I finished working at Harkins on Sunday. It was sad. I really enjoyed my job.
I think more than the job i LOVED the people. my managers were amazing. and they other Team members and Team leaders were really easy to get along with. I am blessed to have had the job.

i am sitting here thinking why i am leaving? i know school is important, but i finally was somewhere where i felt people appreciated me, liked me, accepted me and were my friends. now i am leaving to go back to a place where i have no friends and people hate me. who in their right mind would do that? i have no clue.

but i am not going to let them win. i am going back and i am going to have a hell of a year. i am not going to let some freaky deeky people get all up in my grill. Mhmmm you know that's right. Look out :)

i need to get all my stuff in the car. i am heading out this is going to be quite the adventure! YES!!!

novel 7 and stuff

so wow! i finally finished my 7th novel. i do not think i am going to reach my goal of 10 before school starts. to tell the truth the books that i have been reading are not that interesting and so my attention is starting to be like usual, i hate reading. it is coming back! i cannot find a book that really grabs me like the Help did.

anyways, i did not read the one i thought i was going to, the crimson portrait. i started it, but it was not that attracting so i read What the Dickens instead. it is by the same writer who wrote WIcked. it is a story about the tooth fairy or tooth fairies! haha.
it was an okay book. it had a cute story line. i do not think i will read it again, unless it is to my children when they are about 7 or 8 years old. haha.

i start school soon! school starts on the 21 of August and i am moving back to tucson on the 18. i cannot wait! like always i am getting nervous to go back, but it is going to be great! i cannot wait to get back on my own and be me again. i will have to post more details about it later. what really sucks is i have to stop my job at harkins. that REALLY bites because i love working there. i love the people i work with and the atmosphere. i am going to miss it. i wish i did not have to leave just for that purpose. plus i got free movies and now i have to pay again. darn.

another bummer is i finally went on a date with a certain someone and it was FANTASTIC! i finally meet someone and i have to go back to school! where was this person all summer? what the hay. i love how when things finally pick up you have to abandon them. i really think them and i would have hit it off great. i really want to see them again tonight but they work really early in the morning and so they go to bed really early and i do not see that happening. tears. but i hope that i could sneak over at least and chill for about an hour or so. :) again, i will post more details on that laters!

i am off to go grocery shopping. i am the mother of the house since my parents are in tennessee for my fathers business meeting. i have to clean and do the mommy stuff. not like i do not do that already!! haha. so adios and ciao.

#6 Novel Complete!

OKAY, i am not going to lie this novel took me a while , over a week to finish it. i just could not get into it. it reminded me a lot of the divine secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood. the novel is called " mermaids in the basement' by michael lee west.


the book really has nothing to do with mermaids. it is about a girl who goes to her grandmothers house in alabama and her grandmother, and 2 other ladies tell her the story about her mother, the REAL story of her mother and father.
those 3 ladies were her mothers best friends they were. :)
it was different book. if you can handle different point of views then you may enjoy it. i however, am not very fond of several points. i just want to focus on one and that is the main character. all the jumping around just looses my interest and this book did just that.
it seemed i was just hurrying to read it in the end so i could get it over with, so i can start a new one. and that is exactly what i am going to do! i am starting my new one either today or tomorrow. it is july 23 and i have little under a month to read 4 more novels. i have to get a move on that is for sure! i have 2 novels in my mind to read, i need to find 2 more. i guess i will think about that when the time comes. :)